This is mainly because of one person that I recently spoke to who told me that I have to get my identity back, and that identity is linked to writing, and getting out there in the big wide web again. I have to go against my natural instinct and pull my head out the sand and stop hiding from everything that I’m not happy with. And that’s hard. It comes down to motivation and drive, both are lacking, but both are being forced back into my mind.

So, me, be aggressive, be productive, be yourself. Expect more.

Now let’s fast forward to yesterday where Scott and I were playing our ritualistic three games of FIFA. Only three games because one of us always gets annoyed with the game. He goes Classic XI and I go Current World XI. His team boasts greats like Pelé, Cantona, Maradona… no wait, there’s no Maradona (I think this is due to image rights). But that’s nothing when compared to my team, I have Lampard and Berbatov, for crying out loud. Both great players but why are they first team players and not the likes of Xavi, Iniesta, Forlan, Torres(ignoring his current form), Robben , Pato amongst many others. Even worse is the fact that there is only five reserve players and two of them had stats in the mid seventies. I would go back and check but apparently the squad changes on every load and I have no idea why. No problem, right? Let’s just change it up and add our own players. Only no, you can’t even edit the team.

This lack of control is my main problem with FIFA 11. It occurs throughout the entire game, small picky details that niggle and frustrate and over time can lead to ruining your experience with the game. Formation screens are the worst, favouring their traditional clunky, slow and just ugly design. I could put up with this but it’s the editing of the player positions that are just horrible. Play a central midfielder who excels in real life in a holding role in FIFA and their stats will drop. Flick to the formation edit screen and you can nudge him two fucking millimetres forward and suddenly he’s good again. Only you can’t just use that formation, you have to save it, which you cannot name, it just sits there among all the other minor adjustments that you’ve done.

The actual football is good, we all know that, apart from one thing, something that Scott and I call “The Jip”. The Jip rears its ugly head when the game decides that you need to be playing worse, to make the game more tense or something. Suddenly your passes will start going astray. Your players will not connect to through balls, running the wrong way or stopping without any reason. Your opponent will be able to tackle you with ease, stripping you of the ball with little to no effort. I know this sounds like the ravings of a sore loser but we’ve played a lot of FIFA and this has been getting worse through the last three instalments.

The Jip usually signifies the end of our fun and so we often switch to arsing around and tackling each other off the ball, shooting from anywhere on the pitch, going mazy runs with the goalkeeper etc. FIFA handles this well, even helping in the fun thanks to its ridiculously calamitous physics engine. Yet it still stops you from doing what you want, like playing your goalkeeper outfield, allowing Gerrard to don the gloves. Editing a formation that plays everyone upfront, only you can’t as you MUST HAVE one defender back.

I’ve put up with it for too long, and what sickens me is I always award them high scores as when they come out as they appear brilliant improvements, only through time the honeymoon ends and outcome the comfort pants and the mortgage payments. So, EA, please make your game more open ended, less linear and confined, and bring back the fun to football.

Rant/

Life is shit right now. I am drunk thanks to my parents and family. This album is helping me so much, especially this song. This post has basically became a homage to the wonders of Broken Bells and how they are going to help me through difficult times. And booze. In certain circumstances it is good. GOOD.

I’ve never played Silent Hill or Resident Evil but I have watched them. Now we have went our separate ways I haven’t finished a ‘scary game’ since these. I tried Condemned but I just couldn’t manage it. I was scared even watching Dead Space – funny story about that, will share it another day.

But I got to watch Dead Space 2 being played by my good mate, Damo, as he was staying over for 4 nights. He beasted the game in one massive sitting and I was his old fashioned wingman Calling out the location of those nasty little bastarding Necromorphs, helping him in the frustrating puzzles, and trying to scare him in tense sections by creeping back into the living room and jumping in him. Didn’t work.

So when the next game comes out I’m either going to kidnap someone or rent myself out as a gaming wingman. What do you think?

But I am continuing. I’m going to do 2 posts a day for 4 days to hit my number again then I’m not going to miss a day. I fucking promise. Even if the post is a picture of a dog getting hit in the nuts by a tennis ball, i will post something. I will even throw a tennis ball at my cat and she doesn’t even have nuts.

I will pursue interesting things so I can write about them, I will write earlier when I actually have the ideas instead of leaving it until 2am. I can make this stronger, faster… better.

Better than January anyway. What a shit month! I’m not going to moan about it again but I want to mention my family dog, Jess, who passed away yesterday. She was diagnosed with cancer last year and has been happy enough until this week where her health rapidly dropped. I was ready for it but it still knocked me for six. Keep remembering old memories of her, like the first day we got her and she did a massive poop on the neighbours pathway. Or the time she clean knocked me over in the snow, must have went about 3 feet in the air.

You were a great dog. My dog. Miss you, pup.

UPDATE: Failed in putting this update up and I’m jus going to bed, GOD knows what the next few days holds.

Sorry and I love you all.

I think I have a serious problem. I only used to do it the odd time and even then it was only if there was nothing better to do. I usually always did it on the weekends though, sometimes with friends. But now I find myself doing it at all the time, every time there’s a window of opportunity then there I am. Even when there is no chance I’m talking about it and thinking about it. Jesus…

When did football become so important to me?

I supported Rangers as a kid, still do when they’re in Europe and in the Old Firm, but I got tired of the SPL and all the local bullshit you got from both sets of Old Firm supporters. Then I enjoyed my time as a casual supporter, just enjoying football and falling in love with the premiership. Over time I started feeling a bit of a connection with Liverpool. Watching their games every chance I could, following the scores on sports websites when I couldn’t.

It’s only in the last year that I’ve blossomed into a full blown addict. Now I actively follow transfer periods, even caring about who goes where in Europe. I follow far too many football bloggers and reporters on Twitter. I stream games live on the internet, I watch a couple of games at the weekend, I watch Soccer AM and Final Score. What’s happened to me?

I already have too many passions to actively manage. Important inteclectual things like reading have been pushed aside. “I don’t have the patience anymore to just sit in silence and read” I say, for her to answer “You watched football for two hours earlier!”

All I know is I would never go back. I don’t want to be a die hard, boring fan, but I do love being a bit of a nerd about it.

This has links to amazing stories from comment threads, entire threads, or even other websites. Obviously you have to wonder how many of them are real, and checking the further comments will always show someone crying “fake, but I’m an optimist and I like to think that these great acts of kindness and laughter are actually true.

Although there are many that I have read and enjoyed, the one that gripped me the most was an account of someone’s complete lack of justice and his resulting time in the American prison system. And it was’t even from Reddit!

Be prepared when you click this link, as it is very, very long: How I went to prison, escaped, got caught, and rescued a kitten.

What in the hell happened to my youth? Remember the phrase that your mum no doubt preached many a time, “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye?” Well thanks to today’s PC packaging you couldn’t even do it if you tried.

Kinder eggs have brackets, you cant pop them anymore. You cant shoot them across the room at an unsuspecting friend. It’s harder to fill one half with blu-tack and create a top spinner thing; just me?

And Smarties are the worst. Cardboard tubes with little cardboard bracket hats. They used to be firearms, I’m surprised schools didn’t ban them. I was a crack-shot with them; hitting people on the run; banking them off walls; mortar firing people behind PC monitors.

Now what are kids supposed to do? Yes, the packaging is more functional, impressive, but it’s not as lethal. I give it six months before the Government start demanding Flakes to come with warning labels as the dusty chocolate remnants could blind you.

BULLETSTORM! I AM ACTUALLY SHOUTING THIS! THE CAPS ARE NEEDED!

The demo dropped onto the marketplace with a mighty thud, causing explosions to erupt all over the world as people rushed to their Xbox’s to see if Cliffy’s hype was validated (as long as it’s better than Gears of War 2).

I downloaded it in record time and jumped in to be greeted with a barking, foul-mouthed, bearded, muscle-bound space pirate. He Showed me the game mechanics and it’s many skill kills before firing through a quick synopsis of the story. That alone should sum up what we have here.

And I really don’t mind.

It’s as balls through the wall as the trailers portrayed it. My first run through was great fun, I was happy with it. Then I saw the score and saw my only friend listed ahead of me. “One more go?” The question was not needed as I was already nailing my first phyco to the wall after wrapping explosives round his neck, grappling him towards me then booting him to his fate.

It’s fast, hectic, surprisingly beautiful, and very possibly hopelessly addictive. My third run-through presented more skill kills and combos, and I just wanted more guns and levels to play with. The only worry is will the levels be customisable enough to make multiple play-throughs fun? Even if they aren’t the online should make up for it. All I know is I’m now excited for Bulletstorm. Sorry, BULLETSTORM!!